


Multidimensional Babysitting

by Kimra



Category: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Domestic Fluff, Gen, Mpreg, Multiverse, Seahorse Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-06 08:41:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20288620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimra/pseuds/Kimra
Summary: Peter B Parkers universe has a few differences from Miles, this is just another.





	Multidimensional Babysitting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Snickfic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snickfic/gifts).

> Originally called: 2 B or not 2 B - because I anguished over adding the B to his name every time he was mentioned.  
Then: Is that a baby in your pocket or are you just incredibly pregnant? - But didn't think the implication was correct.  
End title: Meh it's words. *gives up*

The biggest problem with all these supervillains is that there’s never time for homework. If Miles still hated his school this would work out exactly as he’d initially planned, but he knows his roommate's _name_ now, he’s made progress! he doesn’t want to drop out after all this hard work.

But again, supervillains don’t really care what your home life’s life, unless they’re using it to threaten you with. And with so many of them around, there’s almost always one with a plan to steal all the gold, or destroy life as we know it.

What he doesn’t expect, though, while he’s filling in his calculus online exam is for a portal to open up beside him, a big red hand to grab him, for he and his chair to get tugged through to another universe.

He’s been to a few different ones by now, and this one seems suspiciously normal until his chair stops spinning long enough for a baby to be dumped in his surprised arms.

“What?” He demands, trying to locate the perpetrator of such a heinous act, and finds Peter B Parker hopping into his left-hand spider-sock (and really why isn’t his outfit a one piece like everyone else’s?), and trying to pull his spider-top down over a very round, very pregnant belly.

Miles does a double take and Peter B sees it.

“I know, I know. I shouldn’t be going out like this.” He bemoans, “But it’s just Boomerang. I’m not going to put B. Juniour at risk.” He swears, and then dives out the front window with more grace than a bean pole with a late stage baby belly has any right to.

Miles blinks, then blinks some more, and then the baby he’s holding throws up on him. He dead eyes the baby to no effect, sits it on his hip and goes to look for the wet wipes. This isn’t his first dump a baby and run rhodeo, it’s just usually one of his neighbours doing it.

Mary Jane comes home first, and she looks from the baby to him as she sets her handbag down, then kindly relieves him of his responsibilities. Miles isn’t even sure if she knows who he is. She’s clearly the most chill woman to ever exist, in any universe.

“Peter ran out to fight?” She asks like she has to ask but knows the answer.

“Peter ran out to fight.” Miles agrees sympathetically.

She purses her lips, rolls her eyes, bounces the baby on her hip and then asks him what takeout he wants. Miles picks Chinese, because that’s how you tell a good universe from a bad.

Peter B comes back two hours later to find Miles and Mary Jane drinking coffee and channel surfing. Miles is exclaiming over the differences in ads, products, and plots and Mary Jane is lapping up the information like everything he says is some kind of amazing pun. Miles has accepted that maybe he lives in the pun universe. He can live with that.

They both stop talking when Peter B comes in, shirt scrunched up under his arm pits and pregnant belly bared to the world.

“Mary Jane tells me that men don’t get pregnant in this universe, but they carry the baby around in some sort of pouch.” Miles starts, half focused on shaking the rattle over little Peni Parkers head as she makes grabby hands at it, and on the add for Kill-aid that keeps poping up every adbreak. “She says you carried Peni to term as well. Also Peni? You didn’t think to name her, I don’t know, Miles?”

Peter B rubs the small of his back and thomps past them into the kitchen.

“No, I didn’t Miles, and do you know why?”

“Because Miles is a boy’s name?” Miles guesses.

Peter B makes a triumphant pose, then it slips away into a slump by the fridge. “What do they do in your world anyway?” He asks before chugging two mouthfuls of juice straight out of the bottle.

“Ah, women... do it all?” He tries to explain.

Mary Jane makes s noise of discontent but Peter B pulls a face of horror before he scoops Peni up off the couch. “That sounds exhausting. I’m over run with this one and the new one coming. How would they be expected to work?”

“They... don’t?” Miles says, then revaluates because for one that is inaccurate, and for another he feels like the villain in this piece going by their expressions. “I mean, until recently they didn’t. But we’re getting better!”

Peter B motions for him to move across on the couch so he does. And then Peter B squeezes in beside him, a child in his belly-pouch and one in his lap. Miles stands up to give them space because that belly takes up a lot of space. Then he watches the domestic scene for quite some time before he decides he really does need to ask the important question.

“Anyway- can I go home now?”

“Oh yeah sure.” Peter B says absently as he rubs his overly large belly, legs kicked out and other arm thrown across the back of the couch. “Safe travels and all that.” He gives a finger wave in dismissal.

No-one moves, but Mary Janes watching them both with a fond smile. Miles realises he’s going to have to ask more clearly.

“What I meant is,” he says, “how do I get home?” Peter B binks sleepy eyes at him, then reaches lazily into his pocket. He’s got a device he presses several buttons on before a portal opens up behind Miles.

“Thanks for minding Peni, Miles. Knew I could count on you.”

“Yeah sure thing man.” Miles grabs a hold of his desk chair, waves his good byes and wishes them both a safe pregnancy before he steps though leaving the happy couple alone and getting back to the timed-out chemistry exam still open on his computer.

He’s not quite sure what just happened, but one thing he does know is that pregnancy suits Peter B Parker.


End file.
